Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The 7 Principles of Living in Freedom Everyday

Here at L.I.F.E. Recovery international, we do not utilize a 12 step program for recovery. Instead, we use Dr. Mark Laaser's seven principles. Dr. Laaser has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Iowa, and an M. Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary. He has written over a dozen books, and is recognized nationwide as a speaker. His writings have helped thousands to overcome their battle with sexual addiction.

The first principle for L.I.F.E. is acknowledging that our lives have become unmanageable. We cannot hope to recover without admitting that we have a problem. This is perhaps the most important step, as it allows us to begin our journey.

The second step is to believe in God, accept the grace offered through His Son Jesus Christ, and surrender our lives and our wills to Him on a daily basis. Faith is an important aspect of recovery, as it allows us to give ourselves up to a higher power.

The third step is to become aware of our own sins and weaknesses, and confess them to a safe group of spiritual people. Group therapy is vital, as it allows us to collaborate with others and share our experiences.

After this, we seek accountability and growth in our character as children of God. Owning up to our actions allows us to accept our own flaws, ask for forgiveness, and move on in our journey to recovery.

The fifth principle is exploring the wounds from our past, acknowledging our sinful choices in response to those hurts, and allowing God to transform and heal our hearts. True recovery cannot be achieved without first healing our wounds from the past. We look to God to help us heal from these wounds, so we can be free from them.

In fellowship with other believers, we develop intimate relationships where we celebrate God's transforming work in us and continue to address areas of immaturity and weakness. This goes hand in hand with the third step, as we can form these intimate relationships with others that are going through the same process as us.

The final principle of living in freedom everyday, is walking consistently with grace and truth, carrying the message of Christ's healing to others, and pursuing a vision of God's purpose for our lives. While the journey will never truly be over, we can live with sexual freedom and integrity. It is important to share our message with others, in an attempt to help them achieve the same freedom as us.

These seven principles, as well as our statement of faith, and on-going objectives can be found at

Monday, March 28, 2016

Childhood Trauma is Linked to Sexual Addiction in Adulthood

Many people who are battling with sexual addiction wonder "why me?"  People are curious to know why they are suffering from sexually addictive and destructive behaviors. The truth is, there is not one simple cause for sexual addiction. Research has shown, however, that childhood trauma can play a role in predisposing someone to sexual addiction.

When someone experiences a trauma as a child, they sometimes attempt to reenact the trauma by acting out in a sexually compulsive way. Traumatic experiences result when a person does not have the necessary resources, support, and safety to deal with the traumatizing event. Traumas can be in the form of a divorce, parent abandonment, walking in on parents having sex, or even being molested by an adult. These traumas can lay the groundwork for your subconscious to continue to replay the scenario as an adult, and attempt to rectify your negative feelings with sexually compulsive behavior.

When people act out in a sexual way, it means that their sexual behavior is done to avoid uncomfortable feelings and other facts. Sexual addiction involves continuing to act out sexually in spite of negative consequences. Trauma fits in with this because it is often the reason for the destructive sexual behaviors that the person becomes addicted to.

If your sexual addiction is a result of childhood trauma, you must heal the wounds that you experienced as a child before you can recover from sexual addiction. This is a process that takes time and commitment. Confronting your own feelings can be uncomfortable, especially for those who have been attempting to avoid those feelings through acting out sexually. There is hope, however. Everyone deserves to live their lives with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our website, for info on support groups in your area!


"Trauma Can Create Template Which Feeds Sexual Addiction" by Carol Juergensen Sheets

"Sexual Acting-Out as Response to Childhood Trauma" by William Lent

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Interesting Statistics on Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is a wide-ranging epidemic that is sweeping the nation. Here are some interesting factoids about hypersexuality including its impact on society, marriage, religion, and the internet.

  • It is estimated that 12 to 30 million people suffer from sexual addiction in the United States.
  • Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the internet.
  • Sexual addiction was officially diagnosed under modern criteria in 1983.
  • Around 40 million individuals are sexually involved with the internet in the U.S. alone.

  • 40% of women say they emotionally withdraw from a partner with sexual addiction.
  • Betrayal is the most common feeling that a partner with a sexual addict has.
  • The majority of sexual addicts are not single, and they often have a history of cheating within their relationships.

  • 5 our of every 10 men in the church are struggling with a pornography issue.
  • 54% of pastors have admitted to viewing internet porn in the last year.
  • More than half of men who identify as Evangelical Christian's admit to having an addiction to pornography.
  • According to pastors, the top five sexual issues that damage their congregation are pornography addiction, sexually active, never-married adults, adultery of married adults, sexually active teens, and sexual dissatisfaction.


  • 25% of all search engine requests are related to pornography.
  • 12% of all internet sites are pornographic.
  • 2.5 billion emails per day are related to pornography.
  • 3 out of 4 sexual addicts have admitted to posting naked photos of themselves on the internet.


"Statistics and other Reference Resources on the Impact of Pornography to Marriages, Families, and Society"

Monday, March 21, 2016

Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sexual Addicts

Your partner is addicted to sex. You've talked to them, identified the problem, and they are now seeking help. What you may not know, is that you could need help two. Psychologists have identified six stages of recovery for the partners of sexual addicts.

The first stage takes place before the partner discovers the addict's behaviors. It is called the developing stage, or the pre-discovery stage. In this stage, the partner is completely unaware of their loved one's sexually destructive behaviors.

The second stage is called the crisis stage. This is when the partner discovers the addicts sexually addictive behavior. The partner can now begin to gather resources, or seek therapy.

The third stage is shock. This can be characterized by numbness, avoidance, and even conflict with the addict. You may feel anger, resentment, and hopelessness. These feelings are normal, but they can be very painful.

Grief is the fourth stage. During this stage, partners can find themselves looking more inward to grieve their losses, instead of focusing on the addict's behavior. This is why self-care usually increases in the grief stage.

The fifth stage is repair. This happens when the partner pulls themselves out of their grief, and focuses their attention into helping themselves. Because the grieving process is over, partners are more emotionally stable.

The last stage of recovery is growth. Feelings can be transformed from feeling victimized, into feeling resilient. You have been through something awful, but you got yourself through it. Partners come out on the other side and are fully committed to healing.

Healing and recovery are different for everyone. These stages can take months, or even years for people to go through. Remember that even though you are not the one who is addicted to sex, you still have to heal. Partners can really benefit from professional treatment. Seek the help of therapists who specialize in sexual addiction. There is always hope, and you and your partner can beat this together!


"6 Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts" by Alexandra Katehakis

Monday, March 14, 2016

Sex Addiction vs. Drug Addiction: Are they related?

Most people would never put sex addiction and drug addiction in the same category. They think sex and drugs are two completely different things, that are not related to each other at all. What they do not realize, though, is that there is a major link that connects sexual addiction a drug addiction. Have you ever stopped to think what makes an addiction an addiction? It is chasing a feeling that you get when certain chemical changes occur in the brain. Whether it is the high you get from cocaine, or the feelings you get from having sex, an addiction is an addiction, and that alone is what puts them in the same family.

Many times, drug addiction and se addiction can be even further linked together due to the feelings of shame that a person might get after indulging their sex addiction. Those "what did I just do" and "I can't believe I did that again" feelings can overwhelm a sex addict after they finish chasing that feeling they get from intercourse, and consequently that can send them running right into the open arms of drugs, trying to chase away the guilt by feeling high or just not feeling anything at all.

If sex and/or drug addiction is something you can identify with, there is help! The steps to recovery are hard, and doing it alone might seem unbearable. L.I.F.E. Recovery International offers support for your addictions, and will help you beat this!

"The Link Between Drug Addiction and Sexual Addiction"

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Physical Consequences of Sexual Addiction

Many people are aware of the emotional implications of sexual addiction. It can destroy relationships, make the addict feel alone, shameful, and isolated, among other things. Because of decreased inhibitions and the need to have sex whenever possible, sexual addiction can have serious physical consequences as well.

Sexually transmitted diseases are a very real possibility for someone with sex addiction. The addict's participation in frequent, often unprotected sexual encounters puts them at risk for contracting STDs such as HIV infection, genital herpes, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and many others. They also can put their unknowing partners and/or spouses at risk for these STDs.

Sex addicts also have an increased risk for unwanted pregnancies. The compulsive need for sex can cause both men and women addicts to have sex without protection, and this can lead to pregnancy that could be unwanted. Whether the woman chooses to have the baby, give it up for adoption, or terminate the unwanted pregnancy, it will have a lasting impact on all parties involved.

Seek help before you or someone you love has to suffer the physical implications of sexual addiction. L.I.F.E. Recovery International will support you every step of the way!


"Consequences of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity"

"The Harmful Consequences of Sex Addiction"

Monday, March 7, 2016

Common Causes of Sexual Addiction

Sexual Addiction is something that millions of people around the world struggle with. It is destructive, having a negative impact on the addict and those around them. But what causes this condition? Experts have identified a number of elements that potentially cause sexual addiction.

One thing scientists have seen in a good amount of sex addicts is biochemical imbalances. Some sex addicts have shown high levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. This could partly explain why these people experience increased euphoria when they participate in unhealthy sexual activity.

Something else that comes into play when dealing with sexual addiction is hormones, specifically the sex hormone called androgen. This hormone has an affect on libido, and can play a role in someone's addiction to sex.

Family history can also predispose someone to sex addiction. Research has shown that a high percentage of sexual addicts have been abused as a child. A history of family substance abuse is also common among sex addicts.

If you can identify with any of these risk factors or causes, and have a history of destructive sexual behavior, you might be at risk for sexual addiction. Start your journey to recovery today! We all deserve to live with sexual integrity and freedom!


Saturday, March 5, 2016

Am I Addicted to Masturbation?

Masturbation is a healthy aspect of human sexuality. It can help people learn about themselves in a sexual way without the pressure of another partner. It can even boost libido, and help you gain confidence in yourself and your sexual abilities. For some, however, masturbation can be a problem. It is possible to be addicted to masturbation.

How do you know if you're masturbation habits are healthy, or if they are starting to become destructive? For starters, look out for compulsive masturbation. If you find yourself masturbating excessively, and are unable to stop, it could be a warning sign. Addicts often use masturbation as a self-soothing mechanism, which can have harmful consequences. Another sign that you are addicted, is if you are unable to stop. If you cannot change your masturbation habits, if you have tried to stop and continue to fall back into the same habits, you could be addicted to masturbating.

A third warning sign of addiction is if you experience negative consequences as a result of your masturbation habits. This could include but are not limited to decreased sexual intimacy with others, relationship problems, isolation, and depression. One thing that is common with sexual addicts, is if they know their behaviors are having a negative impact on them, but they continue to participate in these behaviors.

As I stated in the opening of this post, masturbation can be healthy. In fact, there are some situations in which sexual addict therapists suggest it as a tool for recovery. Keeping that in mind, masturbation is very much a solo act. You are the only one who knows your masturbation habits, and your motives behind these behaviors. If masturbation is beginning to have a negative impact on you, it is time to seek help. Seek therapy, or check out our website at for info on support groups, and ways you can begin to help yourself!


"Compulsive Masturbation with or without Porn - The Hidden Side of Sex Addiction" by Robert Weiss

"Should Recovering Sex Addicts Masturbate? Here's the Formula" by Birmingham Maple Clinic

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Sexual Addiction in Gay Men - Is it Different?

Sexual addiction is not a problem that exclusively impacts the heterosexual community. It has shown to be quite a problem in the gay community as well. In fact, studies have shown that almost ten percent of gay men are addicted to sex. A person's sexual orientation does not make them a sex addict. People usually begin to exhibit compulsive sexual behaviors because of their individual psychological issues. Unfortunately individuals in the LGBT community face a lot of oppression, rejection, discrimination, and intimidation that can put them at risk for developing sexually addictive behaviors.

Gay and straight men are equally susceptible to sex addiction, but straight men are more likely to seek help. Gay males also often turn to sexual addiction as a way to "self-medicate" the psychological issues they face in society. There is also a difference in the way society views sexual freedom in homosexuals vs heterosexuals. Homosexuals experience a culture of greater sexual and social freedom than heterosexuals. While this can be a good thing, these views can pose serious issues for gay men who are predisposed to impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior.

Gay men also face less societal consequences as a result of sexual addiction. Before same sex marriage was legalized in 2015, there was less cultural emphasis on people of the homosexual community to engage in long-term relationships, and having children. For a lot of gay men, the threats that encourage straight men to seek treatment, such as divorce, loss of parental rights, etc., did not exist.

Even though there are differences in gay and straight sexual addiction, they are similar in many ways. They both face negative life consequences, and they both engage in sexually destructive behaviors. Fortunately, gay-friendly sexual addiction treatment centers exist. It takes some research, but there are therapists out there that are equally sensitive to sexual addiction and gay men's issues. Recovery can be achieved, and everyone deserves to live with sexual integrity and freedom, regardless of sexual preference and orientation!


"Cruise Control: Understanding Gay Men and Sex Addiction" by Robert Weiss

"Is Sex Addiction Different for Gay Men?"