Recovery: A Poetic Reflection

In a state of confusion
In a state of pain
I have nothing to loose
My self worth to gain

I'm crying for help
I reach out my hand
On the ground where I've fallen
I now take a stand

---

I've come a long way
With a long way to go
I live in today
And the truth that I know

The lies that I face
Echo from the past
I'm rebuilding myself
Recovery at last!

---

The wounds that I've caused
The wounds that I got
I've hurt many people
And been hurt a lot

Now it's time to stop hurting
And let healing kick in
I'm not here to hang out
I'm in recovery to win!

---

The thinking I had
It wreaked of dismay
That thinking has stopped
As of today

Believed I was worthless
Was feeling afraid
I'm a child of God
And I am wonderfully made

Stephen Mathews – 2010-11-24

New Sexual Addiction Recovery Website Launched

L.I.F.E. Ministries has launched its new website with a crisp new look, new features, and expanded content. Look for more information about how to best use the new features and updates in the coming weeks.

Please take a few moments to login and ensure that your information and your support group information made the transfer without error.

http://www.freedomeveryday.org

We Hear You ...

We Hear You ...
Earlier this year, we surveyed our email list and website visitors. Over 70 recovering addicts, facilitators, counselors, pastors, and others shared what difficulties they face and what information they would like to see in advanced training.

Here It Is!!

Using this information, we developed the following curriculum:

• Sex Addiction Origins and Consequences
• Defining Sobriety
• Boundaries
• Group Dynamics
• 5-Phases of Change
• Healthy Intimacy
• Personal and Ministry Vision

Join us on July 17-18 for fellowship and education in Orlando, Florida!

] Details about the Living In Freedom Training and Certification

Can't make it?

Look for future education opportunities from L.I.F.E. Ministries in YOUR area. L.I.F.E. is seeking host organizations to bring this program into their communities!

Call L.I.F.E. Ministries at (866) 408-5433.

Living In Freedom
Training and Certification

Hosted by L.I.F.E. Ministries
July 17-18, 2009 (Just Weeks Away!)
Discovery Church in Orlando, FL

Registration includes a Facilitator Training DVD (Men or Spouses), a $20 value.

] Complete Details and Registration

Facilitator Training for Sexual Addiction Recovery Groups

April 28, 2009 at 8:00 pm EST Men's Group Facilitators < Spouse's Group Facilitators <

Press Release: Facilitator Training for Sexual Addiction Recovery Groups

L.I.F.E. Ministries’ facilitator training calls are returning to help facilitators of sexual addiction recovery groups learn more about facilitating their groups, spend time with other facilitators, and receive support from L.I.F.E. Ministries, a sexual addiction recovery ministry.

Last year, L.I.F.E. Ministries conducted a test-run of monthly telephone conferences designed to help facilitators of L.I.F.E. sexual addiction recovery support groups. Glen W., a seasoned facilitator in Orlando, hosted the men’s facilitator training calls. Melissa Haas, author of the L.I.F.E. Guide for Spouses, hosted the spouse’s facilitator training calls.

This program leads participants through a monthly lesson, and then the call opens up for a question-answer session. Many participants have found this free resource extremely valuable, used it as a support in their lives, and find it a way to stay connected with L.I.F.E. Headquarters.

L.I.F.E. Ministries is a Christ-centered support group ministry whose mission is to encourage, empower, and equip God’s people to live everyday in sexual integrity. L.I.F.E. continues to be on the frontline in helping those struggling with sexual addiction take back their lives—one person and one life at a time through their L.I.F.E. Guide workbook resources and L.I.F.E. support groups in churches across the country. L.I.F.E. is now moving toward the recruiting and training of warriors, and to coordinating the attack on sexual sin and bondage.

ABOUT L.I.F.E. Ministries – L.I.F.E. Ministries is a Christ-centered support group ministry whose mission is to encourage, empower, and equip God’s people to live everyday in sexual integrity. L.I.F.E. Ministries provides structure, resources, and support to local churches and organizations that host L.I.F.E. support groups. Currently, there are L.I.F.E. support groups across the United States and in several foreign countries..
For more information, please visit their website at www.freedomeveryday.org or call (866) 408-LIFE.

Facilitator Training Calls Return!

Our facilitator training call series is starting back up! Join Glen W. in Orlando or Melissa Haas, author of our Spouse's Guide, on Tuesday, January 27th at 8 pm EST for an hour of education, fellowship, and training for facilitators of sexual addiction support groups. (missed last year's calls?)

men's facilitator training calls <

spouse's facilitator training calls <

New Resource for Restoring Marriages broken by Sexual Addiction

Restore your marriage torn by sexual addiction <

Mobilizing an Army of Warriors: Facilitator Resources

(From the December 2008 Living In Freedom monthly email newsletter)

L.I.F.E. Ministries is a network of support groups based in churches across the globe connected to our central Headquarters. Group Facilitators are a critical link in ministry communications and operations – setting up and running their group and staying connected with Headquarters.
Facilitators, we have many free resources to help you on your mission of spreading sexual integrity. The newest resources are our monthly Facilitator Training Calls (men and spouses).

We have had great feedback about these calls and plan to continue them in January, after the holiday season.

Participants dial into a conference call, spend about a half an hour listening to a seasoned facilitator speak about a particular topic and then participate in questions and answers for another half an hour. Men’s and spouse’s facilitator call schedules can be found in the Facilitator’s Area of our website.

Another free resource that we offer is email support through our website. Group facilitators can login to the website and submit a question to a L.I.F.E. Headquarters representative. They can also select the urgency of the matter in case they are in a potentially toxic situation. Email support is available in the Facilitator’s Area of our website.

The final resource I want to talk about is free downloads. From the Feelings Wheel to Sexual Addiction Self Tests, these downloads are available to you from any computer so that you have access when you need it. Downloads are available in the Facilitator’s Area of our website.

In 2009, we have several new, exciting, and requested resources coming out. To be notified of new facilitator resources as they are released, sign up for our Facilitator Email List (found in your Facilitator's Area).

Honesty and transparency are what this ministry is built on. I have to be honest with you, these free resources and services are not free to the ministry – they cost us money and our volunteers their time. If these resources have been (or will be) useful to you, would you prayerfully consider making a tax-deductible contribution, either a year-end or monthly donation, so that we can continue to bring you free resources?

Free Shipping on Sexual Addiction Recovery Resources (ends 11/30/2008) <

Facilitator Training for Sexual Addiction Recovery Facilitators

Men's Facilitator Training Call for Facilitators of Sexual Addiction Support Groups <

Spouse's Facilitator Training Call for Facilitators of Sexual Addiction Support Groups <

Mobilizing an Army of Warriors - the Leader/Facilitator Role

The L.I.F.E. Ministries leadership team, including our Director of Development, attended the Willow Creek Leadership Summit early in August. There were over a hundred thousand attendees from around the world, most of them via satellite. Bob and I have attended several Summits throughout the years, but I have never heard such urgency from all the speakers about fulfilling God’s purposes for our lives. The first words spoken by Bill Hybels, the pastor of Willow Creek Community Church were “We need to advance God’s purposes on earth.”

Immediately, my thoughts were that the Lord’s mandate for L.I.F.E. Ministries is to advance God’s purpose of preparing the Body of Christ to be the Pure Bride of Christ—without spot or wrinkle.All of us who are a part of L.I.F.E. Ministries certainly know that that is our purpose, and that to fulfill that purpose we need to mobilize an army of warriors to fight the assault from the enemy that tries to keep the Bride from being pure.

In the original vision I had in the Garden of Gethsemane, I was kneeling down at the rock with Jesus and I cried out: “not my will but thy will be done.” Then Jesus and I rose from the rock and I stood beside Him as a line as far as I could see of people of all races came marching forward in an army. The Lord told me that this is the army that He is calling out to fight the war against sexual addiction within the Christian community. You are a part of that army, and we so appreciate your participation. In the months to come, we will be telling you how you can help increase the size and effectiveness of this army.

The first thing that we can to do to better prepare for battle is to make our actions as leaders/facilitators lead to the things that matter to God. “Let our light shine and give glory to the Lord.”

When we place our hope in who God is and what He asks us to do, then He is responsible to get it done.

Leadership bears the responsibility to give back to others from the same freedom in which you received ministry. Then empower them to step up and facilitate that same healing to still others. People want to have meaning and purpose in their lives--that is what Principle Seven is all about. Have them ask the Lord to create a vision and purpose for their lives. Prayerfully, if the Lord so leads, many will want to join the other warriors working with L.I.F.E. People need to align around a mission and then become servant leaders themselves. This helps still others grow to join the army and make a difference in this world.

Tell your story so others will catch the vision, and desire that same freedom for themselves. Rather than remaining a victim of the addiction, they can find that they are to help others to live in freedom. Leadership is to empower others, not to have power over them. We can lead others to this gift by helping them to contribute to something.

As we grow into the army we are called to be, one of our most powerful weapons is love. In many ways this army is like other armies in devotion, discipline, focus, training, seriousness, and so on; but in some basic ways it is unlike any other army. The weapons of this army are not like any human weapons, but are divinely powerful. We do not hate our enemies—we love them! We do not fight to kill but to give life—not to conquer, but to set others free.

L.I.F.E. groups need to be an accepting and grace-giving environment for those who are truly seeking healing. We can do this by being an authentic and confessing community, accountable to one another. Without truth coming to the light, we will not have the freedom that the Lord so desires in our lives. L.I.F.E. groups give that safety for the truth to be spoken and the shame to be defused. As leaders, we need to model that transparency. You can learn more by joining the monthly Facilitator’s Calls for either men or spouses groups; details are on the website at www.freedomeveryday.org.

As a leader in this army, you must keep people around you who can speak truth and accountability into your life. Always be teachable to continue to grow in the likeness of Jesus.
Bill Hybels said that callings are precious and holy things. Let us be lights to shine in the darkness more than ever. We need those lights to bring glory to the Lord and to stand out in the Christian community--and in the rest of the world to as well –to offer something that the rest of the world does not.

Thanks for being a part of us! We cherish you and look forward to an even more effective army to glorify the Lord.

Bob and Johna Hale

(this post is an exerpt from the October Living In Freedom Monthly e-Newsletter found at www.freedomeveryday.org/newsletter)

Facilitator Training for Sexual Addiction Recovery Facilitators

There is still time to register for one of our two facilitator training calls - next Tuesday night!

Sometimes these calls are not muted to create an environment of open communication and learning. Please remember to keep background noise to a minimum as this distracts other callers and we are recording the calls to make them available for those that are not able to attend.

Men's Edition
The next men's group facilitator training call will be held on September 30th at 8:00 pm EST.
Join Glen from Orlando as he presents ideas & concepts and answers your questions in this one hour conference call.
Register Now <

Spouse's Edition
The next spouse's group facilitator training call will be held on September 30th at 8:00 pm EST.
Join Melissa Haas, author of the L.I.F.E. Guide for Spouses, as she presents ideas & concepts and answers your questions in this one hour conference call.
Register Now <

Filtering for DVDs - Make Watching Movies Safe Again!

Sex Addict Recovery Group Facilitator Training Calls

Men’s Facilitator Call

Join Glen from Orlando as he presents ideas & concepts and answers your questions in this one hour conference call.

March 25th at 8:00 pm EST
Register Now <

Spouse’s Facilitator Call

Join Melissa Haas, author of the L.I.F.E. Guide for Spouses, as she presents "Building Blocks for an Effective Group Part 1: Listening and Reflection".

She will also open the call to answer your questions.

March 25th at 8:00 pm EST
Register Now <

Sexual Addiction Recovery Newsletter (Mar 2008)

Read the complete edition at
www.freedomeveryday.org/newsletter

About our Sexual Addiction Recovery Ministry

Here is our "Introduction to L.I.F.E." video. Learn about the problem of sexual addiction and how our support group recovery ministry helps restore integrity.

For more information about starting a group at your church, please visit our main website at http://www.freedomeveryday.org/.

The Variable Drive to Recovery

Dear Support Group Facilitator,

Greetings! We would like to thank you for your faithfulness and commitment to the members of your Support Group. We pray the Lord will inspire you in spirit, mind and body to continue helping others to Live In Freedom Everyday!

Every addict responds to the challenge of recovery differently, largely in part because each person has a unique perception of what has happened to them. Some will naturally minimize it, others will outright dismiss it. Much of this can be tied to our human nature in coping with crisis, trauma or dilemma. Each person will cope differently. This interesting dynamic will create a variable drive for recovery that can be applied to some well known laws of nature.

Cause and effect is the relationship between two things when one thing makes something else happen. For example, if we eat too much food and do not exercise, we gain weight. Sexual addiction can be an obvious example of this principle. If we persist in acting out sexually over time, our lives and the other people in them will be negatively impacted. This negative impaction leads us to another behavioral principle in recovery.

Isaac Newton’s third law of motion says that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” In recovery from sexual addiction we can formulate a concept using Newton’s third law to say; “recovery is directly proportional to the index rating of experienced trauma.” In other words, the sex addict’s perception of how serious, traumatic and destructive the action has been will usually dictate how responsive he or she will be to recovery. More simply stated:

The motivation, desire and intensity of your recovery efforts is in direct proportion to how extreme or traumatic your consequences were.

The acting out is either disclosed, discovered or intervened upon. Some of us were facing loss of jobs, marriages and in some severe cases, our freedom. Others were threatened with consequences that usually never came. Perhaps we remember an addict coming to our meeting who said; “My wife will leave me if I don’t come here.” Or perhaps it was a motive of monetary losses that compelled some to seek recovery. The bottom line was that denial really held the motive, if you didn’t think that what you had done was all that bad, you generally weren’t going to go the lengths called for by many facilitators and programs for those who have truly felt the burden of the destructive consequences.

One of the first questions I ask someone who says they are ready to commit to a program of recovery is; “What have you got to lose?” How seriously some people will take recovery, the efforts they are willing to apply, is directly tied to what they have to lose. Those who stay superficial in recovery are those who don’t have much to lose. Real recovery begins when we “hit bottom” (which is defined differently for each individual). Hitting bottom or suffering loss is part of the process.

These principles are for you, the facilitator to think about. You are faced with the task of discerning which people in your groups are really going to go the journey and which ones will flee when the rubber starts to hit the road. Denial will more often be the obstacle for motivation to recover. Those addicts who don’t think that what they’ve done was all that bad will generally resist the lengths called for by many facilitators. Thinking about these dynamics in human behavior can help us with how to direct our resources, and allocate our efforts. As long as we remain open to the Holy Spirit’s gift of discernment, we will be able to identify those sexual addicts in whom is “The Variable Drive For Recovery.”

With Shields Locked,
Larry G