The trap of feelings...

by B Hicks

Why do feelings matter so much?  I've learn in recovery that feelings aren't wrong.  How we react to those feelings is where we get into trouble.

I'm well into my recovery but I have been struggling with feeling distant from the Lord.  I will admit, my head knows how good and faithful God is.  He has worked out many impossible situations for me in the last couple years but my heart was yearning for something, more of His presence.  I missed Him.  See, when I was going through the heaviest of storms in my life, I could almost feel God in a tangible way.  It is difficult to explain.  He was real to me.  His presence was so incredibly strong and I can't describe the peace and joy even when my life was a big heap of ashes still smoking.  After tasting the goodness and nearness of God, I've had difficulty in my heart understanding why I didn't feel Him the same way any longer.  I terribly missed the sweet gift of His presence!

So, last week I started really sharing with the Lord how I was feeling.  All the doubt and gloom.  I used journaling to open up my thoughts and it kept me from getting distracted.  It was ugly and I wouldn't want anyone to read it.  What I realized is that Satan is sly.  He uses different and new tactics to get us to rely on our feelings.  He knows where we are vulnerable and attacks us there.  I believed his lies that God wasn't close or good even though intellectually I knew better.  Wow, I just put that out there for you to see! 

On Saturday night after many days of crying out to God and studying His Word looking for answers and relief from this heaviness in my heart, I decided to go online and look for suggestions on...how to feel close to God.

I came across this article and it hit me.  I've been dealing with a wrong view of myself and I was trapped in my feelings of self-pity. 

"What's really happening in our lives, then, is this: While we're busy questioning ourselves and our worthiness to be close to God, God is busy loving us, appreciating our absolute beauty, wanting us to realize who we are. God says, "Come to Me as you are. Don't dress up specially. Don't put on a holy act. Just come as you are -- I love you that way." Thus, God invites us to enjoy a great and Divine love affair."

http://www.soulprogress.com/html/ArticlesFolder/Articles/HowToBeCloser.shtml

It can happen to you.  Watch out for the trap of your feelings!