Monday, February 29, 2016

Dating Apps are Dangerous for Sex Addicts

Most people are becoming familiar with popular "dating apps" such as Tinder, Grindr, and OK cupid. These apps can be positive - they are a way to meet people around you, make friends and potentially find love. Many people have found significant others from Tinder and OK cupid, and Grindr is a way gay people in the community can connect. Unfortunately, more often than not, people use these apps as a way to "hook up," or participate in brief sexual encounters. Instead of going to a bar or club with the intention of meeting someone for a "one night stand," people can sit in their own home and talk to many sexual suitors at once. While the apps themselves are not dangerous, they present significant problems for those dealing with sexual addiction. The recent onset of these apps make having sex with random people easier now than it has ever been, which can be very dangerous for sex addicts.

In recent years, more and more people are becoming aware of and being diagnosed with sexual addiction. Some experts agree that this could be a side effect of the rise of these dating apps. These apps provide access to essentially limitless people who want casual, even anonymous sex. This perpetuates sexual addiction, as addicts have an increased number of sexual opportunities that they can act upon at any time. These apps can also cause people who are at risk for sexual addiction to fall into potentially unhealthy sexual behaviors and patterns.

Dating apps also present significant challenges for those who are working to recover from sexual addiction. They provide readily available temptations to recovering addicts, as they can use the apps to browse for sexual partners and participate in compulsive sexual behaviors. Recovering addicts who are familiar with these apps know that they are only a couple messages away from sex, and this can be extremely difficult to resist.

These apps are only problematic when an individual feels discomfort, guilt, and depression that surrounds their activities. If you or someone you know is using dating apps to facilitate unhealthy or compulsive sexual behaviors, it may be time to seek help. L.I.F.E. Recovery offers access to tools that can help you learn to live with sexual freedom and integrity. It is never too late to take the first step!

Reference:


"Has Online Dating and Other 'Sexnonogy' Fueled Rise of Sex Addiction?" https://www.sundancecenter.com/news/has-online-dating-and-other-sexnology-fueled-rise-of-sex-addiction/

Friday, February 26, 2016

Should I go to Rehab for Sexual Addiction?

Sexual addiction is often hard for people to overcome. Many treatment options are available, such as group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and sometimes medication. If you have tried one or more types of therapy and you think it either isn't working or that you need more extensive help with recovery, a sexual addiction rehab center could be a good option!

There are two main types of rehab clinics for sexual addiction - inpatient, and outpatient. Outpatient clinics are less formal, with patients attending sessions during the day and returning home in the evening. This method is usually used for people who have completed inpatient programs and want follow-up treatment, or for people who feel their addiction is less extensive.

Inpatient clinics, on the other hand are instrumentally helpful in treating addicts who have a more long-term, serious sexual addiction. They differ from outpatients because patients live at the facility for the duration of their treatment. These centers offer the highest level of care, where trained specialists and professionals are available 24 hours a day for treatment. This is a good option for people who are not able to stop their sexually addictive behaviors without assistance, or those who have tried to recover on their own without success. One reason why inpatient sexual addiction clinics are so successful, is that they allow people to focus entirely on their recovery, without the distractions and challenges of everyday life. It also allows recovering addicts to interact and share with others who face their same challenges and struggles, letting them know they are not alone.

If you believe your sexual addiction is too serious for you to treat by yourself, or if you have tried one or multiple treatment options and failed, you may want to look into a sexual addiction rehabilitation clinic. These facilities exist across the nation, and have proven to be extremely effective in helping people beat sexual addiction. Research facilities in your area, and find one that is best suited for you! Always remember that there's hope for healing from sexual addiction!

References:



"Choosing the Best Inpatient Sex Addiction Rehab Center" http://www.rehabs.com/about/sex-addiction-rehabs/

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Sex Addiction is Different for Women

Hypersexuality is not a "one size fits all" disorder - men and women have different motivations, behavior, and consequences when it comes to sex and sex addiction. Some experts believe that the challenges faced by female sex addicts can even be greater than those faced by males. Sexual addiction in women is often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and ineffectively treated.

The goal for a lot of male sex addicts is often sexual stimulation, not a sexually stimulating relationship. Men also maintain distinct emotional boundaries with the object of their compulsive desires, and usually seek sex opportunities that come from anonymous, disconnected "hookups." Men often become disconnected and disinterested towards the person at the conclusion of their sexually compulsive acts.

On the other hand, women are oftentimes addicted to love and relationships, as well as the sex that comes with it. "Love addicts" are addicted to romance, intrigue, and/or fantasy that comes with relationships. This directly contradicts the male sex addict, as a female love addict will compulsively seek total immersion in a relationship, instead of remaining disconnected. The obsession with finding an exhilarating relationship can be more compelling than the desire for sex. They can seek multiple passionate, quick relationships that are often unstable. Their euphoria escalates throughout the course of the relationship, and stays until the relationship does not deliver the "fix" anymore.

In addition to this, women can also suffer greater consequences from sexual addiction. Women are more prone to health concerns such as unwanted pregnancies, or sexually transmitted diseases. They also face a higher probability of physical harm like rape or battery, because they are often smaller and physically weaker than men. Women also suffer unique emotional consequences when it comes to the shame, embarrassment, and social judgment that is associated with sexual addiction.

L.I.F.E. Recovery offers help and treatment options for both men and women. Regardless of your gender or type of sexual addiction, you deserve to live your life with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our website at  https://www.freedomeveryday.org for more information!

Reference:


"Female Sex Addiction: Understanding Gender Differences" by Ross Rosenberg http://www.yourtango.com/experts/ross-rosenberg/female-sex-addiction-understanding-gender-differences

Monday, February 22, 2016

Treatments for Sexual Addiction

Recovering from sexual addiction is hard - this is a fact that many of us must come to terms with during our journey to sexual freedom and integrity. Fortunately, there are a number of treatment options that exist in order to aid you on your journey.

An increasingly popular way to treat sexual addiction is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short. CBT aims at correcting an addict's irrational feelings, beliefs, and thoughts. This allows the addict to gain a healthier way of viewing the world around them, which in turn can stop their unhealthy sexual behavior. CBT can include role playing, writing in journals, and doing assignments in special workbooks.

Some sexual addicts choose to engage in individual therapy. This can help them address and resolve underlying issues that contribute to their addiction. Different forms of individual therapy include Freudian, humanistic, and object centered.

Another form of treatment is group therapy. This is a non-hostile environment where addicts come together to share their experiences, and support each other on their journey to recovery.

A more specific form of group therapy is family and couples counseling. This can help the addict rebuild trust and intimacy that they may have destroyed as a result of their addiction. This form of therapy is more intimate than group therapy, and offers a more personal approach.

The final form of treatment for sexual addicts is medication. Medication is often looked at as a last resort, but it can be effective. Some serotonin reuptake inhibitors have proven to be effective in reducing the frequency and intensity of sexually addictive urges. This allows the patient to focus on their therapies, instead of only focusing on stopping their urges.

The most important thing when deciding on a treatment option is choosing one that is right for you. Everyone is different and everyone responds to treatment differently. What works for one person may not work at all for another, and the best way to figure out what works best for you is to keep an open mind, and try everything at least once.

References:

"Different Treatment Options for Sexual Addiction" http://sexualaddiction.org/different-treatment-options-for-sexual-addiction/


Sunday, February 21, 2016

Famous TV and Movie Star Publicizes Past Pornography Addiction

If you watch the show "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," or are familiar with popular movies, you are probably familiar with the actor Terry Crews. Crews has recently opened up about his battle with pornography addiction, posting a Facebook video titled "Dirty Little Secret." In this video, he talks about his addiction, stating that it really messed up his life in a lot of ways. He says he didn’t tell anybody about it, and that allowed it to grow and "get bad." When Crews realized the seriousness of his addiction and saw the negative impact it had on his personal relationships and marriage, he sought treatment and enrolled in a rehab program.

Terry Crews is a very prominent and well respected public figure with a massive following on social media. He has over 6 million followers on Facebook alone. The fact that he is reaching out and educating so many people with his own personal story is incredible. He is showing that you do not have to be afraid to get help, and educating a lot of people on sexual and pornography addiction. His openness and vulnerability is commendable, and hopefully it will encourage people to seek help and treatment.

This addiction is beatable - many celebrities like Terry, and every day people are working to recover from this addiction. Everyone deserves to live their life with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our resources page at L.I.F.E. Recovery International to see how you can begin your journey to recovery today!

Reference:


"'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' actor, former NFL player discusses past pornography addiction" by Lindsey Williams http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865647979/Brooklyn-Nine-Nine-actor-former-NFL-player-discusses-past-pornography-addiction.html?pg=all

Friday, February 19, 2016

A subject we have touched on in the past is the impact sexual addiction can have on the spouse of an addict. It can ruin relationships, block communication, and really take a toll on the spouse, as well as the addict. Here are some signs to look out for if you believe your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend etc., is struggling with sexual addiction.

Sign #1: They spend a lot of time sneaking around.

If you notice your partner has suddenly started staying late at work, talking on the phone to people they wont tell you about, or doing suspicious activities on the internet, they may be covering up some unhealthy sexual behaviors. They may flip to another page when you look at their computer, set up secret email accounts, or hide their cell phone in an attempt to keep their behavior a secret.

Sign #2: You notice a change in their demeanor.

If your partner is struggling with sexual addiction, they may act differently around you. They could become more secretive, private, unreliable, or irritable. They could also become more biter or angry, characteristics that are very common with sexual addicts.

Sign #3: You experience a lack of intimacy, and sexual interactions with your partner change.

You may feel that your partner is "tuned out" when they are around you. They could also seem less available, or like they're avoiding you. Another thing to look out for is if your sex life changes - if they avoid sex, want it more frequently, or if they do things that they have never done before during sex. This could include being uncharacteristically rough or demanding, requiring more stimulation, or developing a preference for masturbation.

Sign #4: Your partner is financially irresponsible.

Many sexual addicts will secretly use family finances on their personal sexual needs and activities. They could be spending money on porn, prostitutes, or other sexual activities, while hiding this spending from you. They could also engage in risky sexual behaviors that compromise their job.

These are only some of the many warning signs of sexual addiction. If your partner exhibits one or more of these characteristics, it may be a sign that they need help. Talk to your partner, and encourage open communication. Make sure they know you are concerned about their well-being, and encourage them to seek help. Let them know that you can beat this together!

References:


"12 Big Signs You're in Love with a Sex Addict" by Patsy Rae Dawson

Thursday, February 18, 2016

A New Approach to Sexual Addiction Recovery

It is common for animals such as dogs, cats and horses to aid those who suffer from a wide range of conditions. They're cute, cuddly, gentle, and caring for another living being can help people to learn how to care for themselves. In fact, Desert Solace, a sexual addiction treatment center is using horses in "equine assisted therapy," to help people recover from sexual addiction.

Working with horses has many benefits for sex addicts. It helps with connection and communication, builds healthy relationships, teaches strong work ethic, and gives addicts new responsibilities. The founder of this facility, Mark Jorgensen, believes that horses naturally provide for our emotional needs in a way that we don’t even recognize.

Horses are naturally large and powerful creatures, and can come off as a little intimidating to some people. This is actually a good thing, as it creates an opportunity for those people to develop confidence through overcoming fear. This in turn helps people gain the confidence to deal with other intimidating and challenging situations in their life and battle with addiction.

One important aspect of recovering sexual addiction is change - we must change ourselves and our sexual behaviors to live a more positive and healthy lifestyle. A horse will respond to the energy that it senses. If a person changes themselves, horses respond to them differently. When an addict learns to connect with and form a healthy relationship with a horse, they can learn to also form healthy relationships with the people around them. This can ultimately lead to them repairing relationships damaged by their addiction, and creating new, positive relationships.

Reference:


"Equine Assisted Therapy Contributes to Recovery from Sexual Addiction" by Jerri Jorgensen http://www.hometownstation.com/santa-clarita-latest-news/equine-assisted-therapy-contributes-to-recovery-from-sexual-addiction-166824

Friday, February 12, 2016

When should I seek help for sexual addiction


Do you love sex? Of course, everyone loves sex! Passion for sex and a healthy sexual appetite are natural. It is important, however, to be able to distinguish between a healthy sexual appetite and the beginnings of sexual addiction. In this article I will attempt to give some information to help you determine if you are participating in healthy sexual behaviors, or if could possibly be addicted to sex and should seek professional help.

One important indicator for sexual addiction is a "double life." This could involve having a sexual partner on the side that your significant other is not aware of, sexual behaviors that you hide from friends and family, and other secretive sexual behaviors. While it is possible to cheat without being a sexual addict, sex addiction could be the cause if you have a strong compulsive desire to cheat even though you know it is detrimental to your relationship.

Something else to look out for is if your personal relationships are being negatively affected by your sexual behavior. If sex is so important to you that you willingly allow it to compromise your personal relationships, you might actually be addicted to sex. 

Constantly seeking out new sexual behaviors could also be another warning sign to look out for. It is healthy and natural to want to switch up your sex life, but there is a fine line between wanting to explore your sexuality in a healthy way, and being reckless with your exploration. If you find that you need to seek out more and more sexual encounters in order to receive pleasure, you could be addicted.

Perhaps the strongest indicator for sex addiction is guilt and/or shame. It is problematic if you continuously engage in risky or unhealthy sexual behaviors and then feel guilty, shameful, or embarrassed about it after. These feelings are typically associated with sexual addiction, and could indicate that you need professional help.

If you identified with one or more of these indicators, it might be time to seek help. Recovery from sexual addiction is not easy, but the first and perhaps the hardest step is admitting to yourself and to others that you have a problem. After admittance, you can finally begin your journey to recovery.

Reference:

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Sexual Addiction May be one of the Hardest Addictions to Break

When the phrase "sexual addiction" is brought up in every day conversation, multiple thoughts might pop into your head. "How can sex be addictive?" "Sexual addiction isn't real," "Drug and alcohol addiction is way worse than sex addiction," and many more. Sexual addiction is not only a very real issue that touches the lives of millions of people across the world, some experts believe that sexual addiction is actually one of the hardest addictions to recover from.

Dr. Doug Weiss, the head of the American Association for Sex Addiction, believes that sex addiction can negatively affect its victims even more so than drugs or alcohol. He stated in a recent interview with CBN News that "drugs [and alcohol] aren't a part of who you are, [they're] something that you do. Sexuality is part of who you are." He also believes that the actual sexual chemical is stronger than any drug that you can take. This helps to shed some light on why people find it so hard to recover from sexual addiction. The act of sex is not inherently "bad," or "addictive," it is something that almost everyone participates in at least once in their life. For many, it is an important part of life that encourages intimacy and closeness. Sex only becomes a problem when sexual behaviors shift from healthy to unhealthy. Sexual addiction is so hard to recover from because it does not involve simply cutting sex out of your life forever. True recovery comes from the ability to recognize unhealthy sexual behaviors and motivations, and transform them into healthy, positive behaviors. This involves completely redefining sex and sexuality, and it takes constant effort and determination.

Fortunately, L.I.F.E Recovery International is ready to support you if you decide. The fact that sexual addiction is one of the hardest addictions to break can actually be a good thing, as the recovery process will make you that much stronger and more determined to transform your life and live with sexual freedom and integrity.

Reference:


"This is the Hardest Addiction to Break" by Paul Strand


Monday, February 8, 2016

Some Common Myths about Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is a term that is shrouded in mystery. Both sex and addiction are topics that a lot of people find uncomfortable, and avoid talking about. This has lead to a lot of misconceptions regarding sexual addiction. Because there is such little education on sexual addiction, there are quite a few myths that a lot of people think are true. This post will attempt to debunk several myths, and shed light on some common misconceptions about hypersexuality.

Myth #1 - Sex addiction is an excuse to cheat and have a lot of sex.
Some people believe that sexual addiction is a condition made up by the addict - something they use as an excuse for cheating. This could not be more false. Sexual addiction is a real problem that involves a person engaging in unhealthy or even dangerous sexual behaviors, even if they know it will have a negative impact on their lives. The brains of sex addicts tell them that they need sex, and that they cannot get by without it.

Myth #2 - Everyone who cheats is a sex addict.
While some sexual addicts may cheat on their significant others, cheating does not classify someone as a sex addict. While the compulsive sexual behaviors that come with sex addiction can include cheating, they can also involve other aspects of their life. Cheating does not make someone a sex addict, and sexual addiction does not always involve cheating.

Myth #3 - Sexual addiction only affects men.
Sexual addiction actually impacts men and women equally, but it shows up differently in each gender. It is common for men to be addicted to the physical act of sex, while a lot of female sex addicts crave the emotional aspect of sex, love, and romance. Because of the lack of education and knowledge about female sex addiction, many women go undiagnosed, and do not even realize they have a problem.

Myth #4 - Sex addiction is only about sex.
A lot of people think sexual addiction is the inability to control ones sexual urges, and the underlying cause of this addiction is the drive to have sex. This is not always the case, as sex addicts are often motivated by a lot more than the act itself. According to Dr. Joe Kort, a sex and relationship therapist, sexual addiction often stems from pain, trauma, and/or loss of control. These underlying motivators often lead to a persons engagement in unhealthy sexual behaviors, as an attempt to rectify their negative feelings and emotions.

If you have more questions about sexual addiction, or think you or someone you know is struggling with it, head over to www.freedomeveryday.org and check out our list of resources. Always remember that there's hope for healing from sexual addiction!

Reference:

"6 Common Sex Addiction Myths Debunked by the Experts," by Hayley Matthews http://www.datingadvice.com/home-page-feature/6-common-sex-addiction-myths-debunked-by-the-experts

Friday, February 5, 2016

Is Pornography Addictive?

Unless you have been completely secluded from all TV, social media, and internet for the past 10 or so years, “pornography” is a word that you are sure to be familiar with. Whether you’ve heard about it from personal experience, or just a seemingly innocent google search of Kim Kardashian, it is something less and less people are strangers to. It may not be something that we like to discuss with our buddies, but it is definitely something that people across the country indulge in from time to time. The real question is, however, is it addictive?

I know what you’re thinking. “No way! I’m not addicted! I can stop whenever I want!” Well, you might not be as in the clear as you think you are. Because pornography is so accessible, it is very easy to become addicted to. In fact, studies show that 50% of men around the age of 25 that watch porn on a regular basis have greater difficulty achieving erections in real sexual situations than they do while watching porn. Watching pornography can also become a problem when it becomes compulsive, or if you feel you need it in order to get through the day. Whether we realize it or not, pornography is totally unrealistic. Instead of perfect hair and makeup paired with perfect lighting and perfect people, real sex is full of butting elbows and awkward angles. 

Pornography addiction is not the end of the world. There is always hope! Getting help is not as hard as it seems. L.I.F.E. Recovery International provides access to group therapies that will help you along your journey to recovery. All you have to do is take that first step!

Reference:

“Cambridge Study: Internet porn addiction mirrors drug addiction (2014)” http://yourbrainonporn.com/cambridge-university-brain-scans-find-porn-addiction

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Should I talk to my child about sex?

Many of us remember the dreaded "birds and bees" talk we had with our parents. Personally, it was an awful, awkward, uncomfortable twenty minute conversation that I wish to erase from my memory. Whether parents like it or not, the teen years are a time of sexual exploration. Each child is different and matures in their own way, but sexual exploration is natural and appropriate at each stage of development. Experts agree that when parents teach their children about sex, children are more apt to make responsible, informed choices regarding their own sexual behavior. 

A study conducted by researchers at University of Southern California found that middle school students who received a "sext" were 6 times more likely to report being sexually active. Another study found that 10-15 year olds who sent more than 100 sexts per day were more likely to be sexually active. When children are exposed to sex at such a young age, it puts them at risk for teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other sexual health risks. It can also make them more prone to sexual addiction, as young people tend to be less educated about healthy sexual behaviors. Sexual addiction is  a concern for teens who have experienced sexual abuse, whose homes tend to avoid talking about sexuality, and those who experience shame. A good way to avoid these issues is educating your children at a young age. It is important for parents to have open communication about sex with their children, and not to shame their children for asking questions about sex. 

It is never too soon to start educating your children about sex. If you think your child is engaging in unhealthy behaviors, talk to them! Provide accurate information for your child and help them to set values for healthy, responsible decision making when it comes to sex.

References:

"Teen Sex Addiction" from TeenPaths.org http://www.teenpaths.org/teen_sex_addiction.htm

"Teen Sexting, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Addiction" by Robert Hunt http://paradigmmalibu.com/teen-sexting-sexual-behavior-sexual-addiction/

Monday, February 1, 2016

Avoid relapsing from sexual addiction

You've done it! You have finally reached recovery in your battle with sexual addiction. You sought treatment, went through therapy, and can finally consider yourself "cured" from sexual addiction…right?

Unfortunately, this is not entirely true. As with most addictions, there is no "cure" for hypersexuality. Sexual addicts, even those who have undergone treatment, must continue to work every day to live with sexual integrity and freedom. Relapsing is a very real possibility, and steps must be taken in order to avoid it.

First, recovering sex addicts must learn healthy, effective stress management strategies. Stress is a common trigger for sexual addiction, and if you do not deal with it in a healthy way, it is possible to fall back into negative sexual habits. This leads into the next tip for avoiding relapse - avoid falling back into old lifestyle patterns. After treatment is completed, it is imperative that you change your old unhealthy lifestyle patterns into new, healthy ones. This includes avoiding places like old clubs, bars, and even places like online chat rooms and pornographic websites. Avoiding these eliminates the temptation of falling back into old patterns.

Relapse can also be avoided by sticking closely to your treatment plan. Continue to attend every therapy appointment, take medication as necessary, and follow all other aspects of your treatment plan without faltering. Incorporating new, healthy activities into your life is very helpful as well. Find something new to put your time, energy, and focus into.

If you do experience a setback it is not the end of the world. Make sure you have a plan of action and a good support network to ensure the best chance of getting back on track. Most importantly, do not give up! Recovery from sexual addiction is a journey, and it will not happen overnight. Never loose sight of your goals, and always remember why you started the journey in the first place!

Reference: