Thursday, April 21, 2016

Self Assessment for Sexual Addiction

It can often be difficult to distinguish between a healthy sexual appetite, and sexual addiction. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you think you are struggling with sexual addiction

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual behaviors from the people around you?
  2. Do you require a greater variety, increased frequency, or more extreme sexual activities in order to achieve the same level of excitement?
  3. Do you view pornography for extensive amounts of time and/or does your pornography use interfere with relationships or employment?
  4. Do you feel remorse, shame, or guilt after having sex with someone?
  5. Do your sexual activities involve coercion, violence, or the threat of disease?
  6. Has your sexual behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, shameful, or alienated from others?
  7. Do you have trouble stopping your sexual behavior when you know it is inappropriate and/or dangerous?
  8. Have you made promises to yourself or someone else to change some form of your sexual activity only to break them later?
  9. Have your sexual activities interfered with some aspect of your professional or personal life (problems at work, loss of relationship, etc.)?
  10. Did your parents have ongoing sexual or romantic problems?

If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, it may be time to seek help. Fortunately, L.I.F.E. Recovery International offers resources such as support groups, and our seven principles of L.I.F.E. to help you on your journey to recovery!

References:



Monday, April 18, 2016

4 Health Benefits of Sex

This blog mostly focuses on the negative aspects of sexual addiction. However, sex is an important aspect of our lives, and actually has many positive health benefits!

  1. Improved Heart Health: Research has shown that sex is good for the heart. It is essentially an exercise, that raises your heart rate and stimulates blood flow. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health found that engaging in sex at least twice a week reduced the risk of heart attack by half!

  1. Better Night's Sleep: Many people report getting a deeper, more restful sleep after having sex. This could be due to the hormone prolactin, which is released during orgasm. Prolactin levels are higher when we are asleep, so the release of the hormone right before bed could lull us into a restful state.

  1. Minimized Pain: Sex can also be a mild pain reliever. The hormones and endorphins that are released during orgasm closely resemble morphine, and they can effectively relieve pain. Several studies have also found that women can get some relief from menstrual cramps after having an orgasm.

  1. Glowing Skin: Having sex regularly promotes the release of testosterone and estrogen for men and women respectively, along with other hormones that can keep skin looking young and vital. Estrogen also promotes softer skin, and shiner hair. In a study conducted at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, participants who were engaging in regular sexual intercourse were perceived to be seven to twelve years younger than their actual age!

This is only a small list of the numerous benefits sex can have on your health. This is why positive, healthy sexual behaviors are encouraged by L.I.F.E. Recovery International. It is important to remember, however, that too much of a good thing can turn bad. Remember to engage in healthy sexual activities, and if your sexual habits are starting to become addictive, seek help!


Reference: "The Hidden Health Benefits of Sex" by Cari Wira Dineen http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/health-benefits-of-sex

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Confronting a Spouse with Sex Addiction

You have noticed that your partner has been engaging in unhealthy sexual behaviors, and suspect they are a sex addict. You think they should get help, or at least admit their issue so it can be addressed - ignoring the problem will not make it go away. Here are some things to keep in mind if and when you choose to confront your spouse about their addiction.

Confronting the sexual addict should be done in a deliberate, mindful, and careful way. Do not approach them with anger or accusations, as it can elicit a defensive response instead of a productive one. In order to make your partner feel less attacked or cornered, try to use "I" statements, instead of "you" statements. This emphasizes your own feelings and needs, and shows the impact that their addiction has had on you as their partner.

Try to remember that even though their addiction has hurt you, they are still a person who you love and have a deep relationship with. You have the right to feel angry and hurt, but try to express these feelings with compassion. Let them know that you love them and only want the best for them. Offer help, and encourage them to seek counseling or group therapy so they can better themselves and help your relationship.

Reference:

"Constructively Confronting a Sex Addict" by Kay Jones

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

3 Ways Sexual Addiction Can Negatively Impact Your Work Performance

Sexual addiction is a real problem that affects millions of people nationwide. It can destroy relationships, cause emotional trauma, have physical implications, and even effect your work performance.

  1. Sexual addiction can sometimes lead to divorce, which affects productivity at work. Research has shown that relationship problems and divorce impact overall work performance more frequently than a death in the family, serious illness, substance abuse, and depression. In fact, in the year following a divorce, employees loose an average of over 170 hours of work time. This is the equivalent of being absent for four weeks in one calendar year.

  1. Addictive behavior of a sexual nature can cross over into the workplace, distract workers, and lead to inappropriate computer use. Compulsive viewing of pornography often comes with sexual addiction. This can lead to an addict viewing porn during work hours, and even on computers in their place of employment. Unhealthy use of pornography and sexual behaviors outside of the workplace can also impact performance, as addicts can stay up late viewing porn or participating in sexual activities. This in turn can lead to sleep deprivation and even guilt that negatively impacts their performance the next day.

  1. Legal issues from inappropriate computer use. Research has shown that many companies find it necessary to fire employees because of their inappropriate computer use in the workplace. Companies do not want to encourage misuse of time, loss of productivity, and the hostile work environment that sexually explicit content can create. In short, if you are caught viewing pornography at work, you could be fired.

If you are struggling with sexual addiction, seek help! L.I.F.E. Recovery International believes that everyone deserves to live their life with sexual freedom and integrity. You can beat this, and we will support you every step of the way!


Reference:

"Pornography, Sex Addiction, and the Work Place" http://sexual-sanity.com/2007/04/sex-addiction-and-the-work-place/

Monday, April 11, 2016

Sexual Addiction in Teens

Being a teenager is not easy. Teens experience changes in their body, they have to attend school and other activities, and prepare for college. Researchers have found that teenagers in the U.S. are experiencing sexual experimentation earlier than ever before. This can in part be attributed to internet sex sites, and a heightened exposure to sexual material online and in music and TV. Unfortunately for some teens, this can lead to obsessive or addictive thoughts and behaviors when it comes to sex.

If you think your teen is developing sexual addiction, pay attention to their behavior. They may spend more time alone in their room, or attempt to keep their internet activity a secret. Some teens also begin a sexual addiction through "sexting," or sending sexually explicit pictures through text message. Sexual addiction can lead to a loss of control for a teenager. They can be unable to control sexual thoughts and feelings, or spend hours viewing sexual material on the internet. This can lead to a loss of social connections, and a decline in their academic progress.

Fortunately, there are many ways to help teens who suffer from sexual addiction. There are treatment centers that focus on helping teens learn new ways to cope with triggers, and new techniques for handling stress. Be upfront with your teenager. Have a conversation with them about sexual addiction, and encourage them to engage in safe, healthy sexual behaviors. Professional therapists and counselors can help parents and teens approach the subject, and learn ways to keep open communication when it comes to sex and sexual addiction.

Reference:


Thursday, April 7, 2016

Sex Addicts can Experience Withdrawal

Have you recently begun abstaining from sex in order to begin your recovery from sexual addiction? Have you experienced irritability, anxiety, or agitation during this time? If so, you could be experiencing withdrawal.

Similar to drug addiction, sex addicts are addicted to the release of neurochemicals in the brain's pleasure center. These chemicals are activated by stimulating activities that the addict engages in, such as sexual activities, pornography, and masturbation. When an addict stops engaging in such activities, they can experience withdrawal symptoms. Some experts believe that letting go of sexual addiction can be more painful than withdrawing from drugs.

Sexual addicts usually experience the worst withdrawal symptoms during the first two weeks of abstinence. Withdrawal symptoms include but are not limited to depression, vomiting, sweating, tremors and shaking, inability to think straight, hypersensitivity, despair, numbness, insecurity, and grief. Symptoms can often change, or go from one extreme to another. The reason for the symptoms is because the addict's mind, emotions, and spirit are being rebalanced while healthy coping skills are learned.

It is important that an addict braves the withdrawal symptoms, and does not give in to the addiction. Recovering addicts can generate help from support groups, therapists, and friends and family members. These symptoms will go away after time, and every day that you do not give in to your addiction, you are one step closer to recovery.

Reference:


Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Sex Addiction can Negatively Impact Children

Children are sponges; they actively soak up information in order to learn about the world around them. This is a good thing in positive learning environments and family situations, but it can have a negative impact when the child has a parent with unresolved sexual addiction.

 Whether or not a child shows signs of distress, growing up around sex addiction can have a significant negative impact on their future. Having a parent with sex addiction does not mean a child will grow up to be an addict, but it does increase the possibility that they will experience abuse or trauma. Children can be given harmful information about sex instead of appropriate, accurate, or useful information. They can also experience shame or confusion about their own body, gender, and sexuality when they see their parent participating in unhealthy sexual behaviors. Furthermore, children can mirror their parent's disrespectful behaviors or remarks about gender and sexuality.

Researchers have found that even when a child is not fully aware of their parent's abnormal behaviors, they may eventually replicate the behaviors themselves. Young children have nothing to compare their parents' behavior to, and will grow up thinking these behaviors are normal. If you are a sex addict with one or more children, be aware of the huge impact that your behaviors have on your children. Seek therapy, improve your behaviors, and communicate with your child. Hopefully, with the help of your family and others around you, you can learn to live with sexual freedom and integrity and encourage and model healthy sexual behaviors in your children.

Reference:


"Growing up Around Sex Addiction: Impact on Children Part 2" by Linda Hatch http://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-addiction/2013/01/growing-up-around-sex-addiction-impact-on-children-part-2/

Friday, April 1, 2016

Not Even Celebrities are Immune to Sexual Addiction

Nobody is immune to addiction. Millions of people struggle with sexual addiction around the world. Hypersexuality is far-reaching, and does not discriminate - it affects men, women, young people, old people, and even celebrities! This post will discuss several celebrities that you may or may not know have struggled with sexual addiction.

One of the first celebrities to open up about their battle with sexual addiction is Michael Douglas, a famous actor and director. Douglass admitted himself to an addiction treatment center in 1990, bringing the concept of sexual addiction into the public eye.

Motorcycle mechanic and TV host, Jesse James, acknowledged that he was a sex addict after cheating on his wife, famous movie actor Sandra Bullock. In an interview with ABC news, James stated that his sexual addiction stemmed from childhood physical and emotional abuse, inflicted on him by his father.

Among some of the more well-known celebrity sex addicts are Tiger Woods, and Charlie Sheen. Both the famous golfer and the TV actor faced significant attention from the media regarding their addictions. Woods's addiction had a significant impact on his marriage - he was faced with divorce after multiple women came forward clean about their sexual relations with the golfer. Woods has since stated that his sexually addictive behavior escalated over time, as he developed a "tolerance" and needed more sexual encounters to fuel his addictive desires. Sheen, on the other hand, perpetuated his sexual addiction through the use of prostitutes, spending over $50,000 on their services. While Sheen has never admitted to having a sex addiction, signs of hypersexuality include repeated use of prostitutes, frequent visits to strip clubs, and sex with multiple anonymous partners.


Hopefully, this post will give you insight into the fact that sexual addiction can impact anyone, at any time. You are not alone. Collaboration with others in the form of group therapy and support groups have proven to be instrumentally effective in treating sexual addiction. Lean on the support of others, and never give up!

Reference:

"When Sex is a Problem for the Rich and Famous" by Dennis Thompson Jr. http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/celebs-sex-addiction.aspx#05

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The 7 Principles of Living in Freedom Everyday

Here at L.I.F.E. Recovery international, we do not utilize a 12 step program for recovery. Instead, we use Dr. Mark Laaser's seven principles. Dr. Laaser has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Iowa, and an M. Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary. He has written over a dozen books, and is recognized nationwide as a speaker. His writings have helped thousands to overcome their battle with sexual addiction.

The first principle for L.I.F.E. is acknowledging that our lives have become unmanageable. We cannot hope to recover without admitting that we have a problem. This is perhaps the most important step, as it allows us to begin our journey.

The second step is to believe in God, accept the grace offered through His Son Jesus Christ, and surrender our lives and our wills to Him on a daily basis. Faith is an important aspect of recovery, as it allows us to give ourselves up to a higher power.

The third step is to become aware of our own sins and weaknesses, and confess them to a safe group of spiritual people. Group therapy is vital, as it allows us to collaborate with others and share our experiences.

After this, we seek accountability and growth in our character as children of God. Owning up to our actions allows us to accept our own flaws, ask for forgiveness, and move on in our journey to recovery.

The fifth principle is exploring the wounds from our past, acknowledging our sinful choices in response to those hurts, and allowing God to transform and heal our hearts. True recovery cannot be achieved without first healing our wounds from the past. We look to God to help us heal from these wounds, so we can be free from them.

In fellowship with other believers, we develop intimate relationships where we celebrate God's transforming work in us and continue to address areas of immaturity and weakness. This goes hand in hand with the third step, as we can form these intimate relationships with others that are going through the same process as us.

The final principle of living in freedom everyday, is walking consistently with grace and truth, carrying the message of Christ's healing to others, and pursuing a vision of God's purpose for our lives. While the journey will never truly be over, we can live with sexual freedom and integrity. It is important to share our message with others, in an attempt to help them achieve the same freedom as us.


These seven principles, as well as our statement of faith, and on-going objectives can be found at https://www.freedomeveryday.org/index.php/about/

Monday, March 28, 2016

Childhood Trauma is Linked to Sexual Addiction in Adulthood

Many people who are battling with sexual addiction wonder "why me?"  People are curious to know why they are suffering from sexually addictive and destructive behaviors. The truth is, there is not one simple cause for sexual addiction. Research has shown, however, that childhood trauma can play a role in predisposing someone to sexual addiction.

When someone experiences a trauma as a child, they sometimes attempt to reenact the trauma by acting out in a sexually compulsive way. Traumatic experiences result when a person does not have the necessary resources, support, and safety to deal with the traumatizing event. Traumas can be in the form of a divorce, parent abandonment, walking in on parents having sex, or even being molested by an adult. These traumas can lay the groundwork for your subconscious to continue to replay the scenario as an adult, and attempt to rectify your negative feelings with sexually compulsive behavior.

When people act out in a sexual way, it means that their sexual behavior is done to avoid uncomfortable feelings and other facts. Sexual addiction involves continuing to act out sexually in spite of negative consequences. Trauma fits in with this because it is often the reason for the destructive sexual behaviors that the person becomes addicted to.

If your sexual addiction is a result of childhood trauma, you must heal the wounds that you experienced as a child before you can recover from sexual addiction. This is a process that takes time and commitment. Confronting your own feelings can be uncomfortable, especially for those who have been attempting to avoid those feelings through acting out sexually. There is hope, however. Everyone deserves to live their lives with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our website, https://www.freedomeveryday.org for info on support groups in your area!

References:

"Trauma Can Create Template Which Feeds Sexual Addiction" by Carol Juergensen Sheets http://www.themeadows.com/blog/item/19-trauma-can-create-template-which-feeds-sexual-addiction


"Sexual Acting-Out as Response to Childhood Trauma" by William Lent http://www.newyorkpathways.com/trauma.html

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Interesting Statistics on Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is a wide-ranging epidemic that is sweeping the nation. Here are some interesting factoids about hypersexuality including its impact on society, marriage, religion, and the internet.

Society
  • It is estimated that 12 to 30 million people suffer from sexual addiction in the United States.
  • Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the internet.
  • Sexual addiction was officially diagnosed under modern criteria in 1983.
  • Around 40 million individuals are sexually involved with the internet in the U.S. alone.

Marriage
  • 40% of women say they emotionally withdraw from a partner with sexual addiction.
  • Betrayal is the most common feeling that a partner with a sexual addict has.
  • The majority of sexual addicts are not single, and they often have a history of cheating within their relationships.

Religion
  • 5 our of every 10 men in the church are struggling with a pornography issue.
  • 54% of pastors have admitted to viewing internet porn in the last year.
  • More than half of men who identify as Evangelical Christian's admit to having an addiction to pornography.
  • According to pastors, the top five sexual issues that damage their congregation are pornography addiction, sexually active, never-married adults, adultery of married adults, sexually active teens, and sexual dissatisfaction.

Internet

  • 25% of all search engine requests are related to pornography.
  • 12% of all internet sites are pornographic.
  • 2.5 billion emails per day are related to pornography.
  • 3 out of 4 sexual addicts have admitted to posting naked photos of themselves on the internet.

References:

"Statistics and other Reference Resources on the Impact of Pornography to Marriages, Families, and Society" http://prodigalsinternational.org/statistics-on-sexual-addiction.html

Monday, March 21, 2016

Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sexual Addicts

Your partner is addicted to sex. You've talked to them, identified the problem, and they are now seeking help. What you may not know, is that you could need help two. Psychologists have identified six stages of recovery for the partners of sexual addicts.

The first stage takes place before the partner discovers the addict's behaviors. It is called the developing stage, or the pre-discovery stage. In this stage, the partner is completely unaware of their loved one's sexually destructive behaviors.

The second stage is called the crisis stage. This is when the partner discovers the addicts sexually addictive behavior. The partner can now begin to gather resources, or seek therapy.

The third stage is shock. This can be characterized by numbness, avoidance, and even conflict with the addict. You may feel anger, resentment, and hopelessness. These feelings are normal, but they can be very painful.

Grief is the fourth stage. During this stage, partners can find themselves looking more inward to grieve their losses, instead of focusing on the addict's behavior. This is why self-care usually increases in the grief stage.

The fifth stage is repair. This happens when the partner pulls themselves out of their grief, and focuses their attention into helping themselves. Because the grieving process is over, partners are more emotionally stable.

The last stage of recovery is growth. Feelings can be transformed from feeling victimized, into feeling resilient. You have been through something awful, but you got yourself through it. Partners come out on the other side and are fully committed to healing.

Healing and recovery are different for everyone. These stages can take months, or even years for people to go through. Remember that even though you are not the one who is addicted to sex, you still have to heal. Partners can really benefit from professional treatment. Seek the help of therapists who specialize in sexual addiction. There is always hope, and you and your partner can beat this together!

Reference:


"6 Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts" by Alexandra Katehakis http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/12/6-stages-of-recovery-for-partners-of-sex-addicts/

Monday, March 14, 2016

Sex Addiction vs. Drug Addiction: Are they related?

Most people would never put sex addiction and drug addiction in the same category. They think sex and drugs are two completely different things, that are not related to each other at all. What they do not realize, though, is that there is a major link that connects sexual addiction a drug addiction. Have you ever stopped to think what makes an addiction an addiction? It is chasing a feeling that you get when certain chemical changes occur in the brain. Whether it is the high you get from cocaine, or the feelings you get from having sex, an addiction is an addiction, and that alone is what puts them in the same family.

Many times, drug addiction and se addiction can be even further linked together due to the feelings of shame that a person might get after indulging their sex addiction. Those "what did I just do" and "I can't believe I did that again" feelings can overwhelm a sex addict after they finish chasing that feeling they get from intercourse, and consequently that can send them running right into the open arms of drugs, trying to chase away the guilt by feeling high or just not feeling anything at all.

If sex and/or drug addiction is something you can identify with, there is help! The steps to recovery are hard, and doing it alone might seem unbearable. L.I.F.E. Recovery International offers support for your addictions, and will help you beat this!


"The Link Between Drug Addiction and Sexual Addiction" http://bradfordhealth.com/the-link-between-drug-addiction-and-sexual-addiction/

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Physical Consequences of Sexual Addiction

Many people are aware of the emotional implications of sexual addiction. It can destroy relationships, make the addict feel alone, shameful, and isolated, among other things. Because of decreased inhibitions and the need to have sex whenever possible, sexual addiction can have serious physical consequences as well.

Sexually transmitted diseases are a very real possibility for someone with sex addiction. The addict's participation in frequent, often unprotected sexual encounters puts them at risk for contracting STDs such as HIV infection, genital herpes, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and many others. They also can put their unknowing partners and/or spouses at risk for these STDs.

Sex addicts also have an increased risk for unwanted pregnancies. The compulsive need for sex can cause both men and women addicts to have sex without protection, and this can lead to pregnancy that could be unwanted. Whether the woman chooses to have the baby, give it up for adoption, or terminate the unwanted pregnancy, it will have a lasting impact on all parties involved.

Seek help before you or someone you love has to suffer the physical implications of sexual addiction. L.I.F.E. Recovery International will support you every step of the way!

References:

"Consequences of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity" https://www.sexualrecovery.com/articles/consequences/


"The Harmful Consequences of Sex Addiction" https://prescotthouse.net/harmful-consequences-sex-addiction/

Monday, March 7, 2016

Common Causes of Sexual Addiction

Sexual Addiction is something that millions of people around the world struggle with. It is destructive, having a negative impact on the addict and those around them. But what causes this condition? Experts have identified a number of elements that potentially cause sexual addiction.

One thing scientists have seen in a good amount of sex addicts is biochemical imbalances. Some sex addicts have shown high levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. This could partly explain why these people experience increased euphoria when they participate in unhealthy sexual activity.

Something else that comes into play when dealing with sexual addiction is hormones, specifically the sex hormone called androgen. This hormone has an affect on libido, and can play a role in someone's addiction to sex.

Family history can also predispose someone to sex addiction. Research has shown that a high percentage of sexual addicts have been abused as a child. A history of family substance abuse is also common among sex addicts.

If you can identify with any of these risk factors or causes, and have a history of destructive sexual behavior, you might be at risk for sexual addiction. Start your journey to recovery today! We all deserve to live with sexual integrity and freedom!

Reference:


Saturday, March 5, 2016

Am I Addicted to Masturbation?

Masturbation is a healthy aspect of human sexuality. It can help people learn about themselves in a sexual way without the pressure of another partner. It can even boost libido, and help you gain confidence in yourself and your sexual abilities. For some, however, masturbation can be a problem. It is possible to be addicted to masturbation.

How do you know if you're masturbation habits are healthy, or if they are starting to become destructive? For starters, look out for compulsive masturbation. If you find yourself masturbating excessively, and are unable to stop, it could be a warning sign. Addicts often use masturbation as a self-soothing mechanism, which can have harmful consequences. Another sign that you are addicted, is if you are unable to stop. If you cannot change your masturbation habits, if you have tried to stop and continue to fall back into the same habits, you could be addicted to masturbating.

A third warning sign of addiction is if you experience negative consequences as a result of your masturbation habits. This could include but are not limited to decreased sexual intimacy with others, relationship problems, isolation, and depression. One thing that is common with sexual addicts, is if they know their behaviors are having a negative impact on them, but they continue to participate in these behaviors.

As I stated in the opening of this post, masturbation can be healthy. In fact, there are some situations in which sexual addict therapists suggest it as a tool for recovery. Keeping that in mind, masturbation is very much a solo act. You are the only one who knows your masturbation habits, and your motives behind these behaviors. If masturbation is beginning to have a negative impact on you, it is time to seek help. Seek therapy, or check out our website at www.freedomeveryday.org for info on support groups, and ways you can begin to help yourself!

References:

"Compulsive Masturbation with or without Porn - The Hidden Side of Sex Addiction" by Robert Weiss http://www.robertweissmsw.com/compulsive-masturbation-with-or-without-porn-the-hidden-side-of-sex-addiction/


"Should Recovering Sex Addicts Masturbate? Here's the Formula" by Birmingham Maple Clinic http://www.birminghammaple.com/10766/mental-health-update/should-recovering-sex-addicts-masturbate-heres-the-formula/

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Sexual Addiction in Gay Men - Is it Different?

Sexual addiction is not a problem that exclusively impacts the heterosexual community. It has shown to be quite a problem in the gay community as well. In fact, studies have shown that almost ten percent of gay men are addicted to sex. A person's sexual orientation does not make them a sex addict. People usually begin to exhibit compulsive sexual behaviors because of their individual psychological issues. Unfortunately individuals in the LGBT community face a lot of oppression, rejection, discrimination, and intimidation that can put them at risk for developing sexually addictive behaviors.

Gay and straight men are equally susceptible to sex addiction, but straight men are more likely to seek help. Gay males also often turn to sexual addiction as a way to "self-medicate" the psychological issues they face in society. There is also a difference in the way society views sexual freedom in homosexuals vs heterosexuals. Homosexuals experience a culture of greater sexual and social freedom than heterosexuals. While this can be a good thing, these views can pose serious issues for gay men who are predisposed to impulsive or compulsive sexual behavior.

Gay men also face less societal consequences as a result of sexual addiction. Before same sex marriage was legalized in 2015, there was less cultural emphasis on people of the homosexual community to engage in long-term relationships, and having children. For a lot of gay men, the threats that encourage straight men to seek treatment, such as divorce, loss of parental rights, etc., did not exist.

Even though there are differences in gay and straight sexual addiction, they are similar in many ways. They both face negative life consequences, and they both engage in sexually destructive behaviors. Fortunately, gay-friendly sexual addiction treatment centers exist. It takes some research, but there are therapists out there that are equally sensitive to sexual addiction and gay men's issues. Recovery can be achieved, and everyone deserves to live with sexual integrity and freedom, regardless of sexual preference and orientation!

References:

"Cruise Control: Understanding Gay Men and Sex Addiction" by Robert Weiss http://www.freedominstitute.org/cruise-control-understanding-gay-men-and-sex-addiction/


"Is Sex Addiction Different for Gay Men?" https://www.sexualrecovery.com/blog/sex-addiction-gay-men/

Monday, February 29, 2016

Dating Apps are Dangerous for Sex Addicts

Most people are becoming familiar with popular "dating apps" such as Tinder, Grindr, and OK cupid. These apps can be positive - they are a way to meet people around you, make friends and potentially find love. Many people have found significant others from Tinder and OK cupid, and Grindr is a way gay people in the community can connect. Unfortunately, more often than not, people use these apps as a way to "hook up," or participate in brief sexual encounters. Instead of going to a bar or club with the intention of meeting someone for a "one night stand," people can sit in their own home and talk to many sexual suitors at once. While the apps themselves are not dangerous, they present significant problems for those dealing with sexual addiction. The recent onset of these apps make having sex with random people easier now than it has ever been, which can be very dangerous for sex addicts.

In recent years, more and more people are becoming aware of and being diagnosed with sexual addiction. Some experts agree that this could be a side effect of the rise of these dating apps. These apps provide access to essentially limitless people who want casual, even anonymous sex. This perpetuates sexual addiction, as addicts have an increased number of sexual opportunities that they can act upon at any time. These apps can also cause people who are at risk for sexual addiction to fall into potentially unhealthy sexual behaviors and patterns.

Dating apps also present significant challenges for those who are working to recover from sexual addiction. They provide readily available temptations to recovering addicts, as they can use the apps to browse for sexual partners and participate in compulsive sexual behaviors. Recovering addicts who are familiar with these apps know that they are only a couple messages away from sex, and this can be extremely difficult to resist.

These apps are only problematic when an individual feels discomfort, guilt, and depression that surrounds their activities. If you or someone you know is using dating apps to facilitate unhealthy or compulsive sexual behaviors, it may be time to seek help. L.I.F.E. Recovery offers access to tools that can help you learn to live with sexual freedom and integrity. It is never too late to take the first step!

Reference:


"Has Online Dating and Other 'Sexnonogy' Fueled Rise of Sex Addiction?" https://www.sundancecenter.com/news/has-online-dating-and-other-sexnology-fueled-rise-of-sex-addiction/

Friday, February 26, 2016

Should I go to Rehab for Sexual Addiction?

Sexual addiction is often hard for people to overcome. Many treatment options are available, such as group therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and sometimes medication. If you have tried one or more types of therapy and you think it either isn't working or that you need more extensive help with recovery, a sexual addiction rehab center could be a good option!

There are two main types of rehab clinics for sexual addiction - inpatient, and outpatient. Outpatient clinics are less formal, with patients attending sessions during the day and returning home in the evening. This method is usually used for people who have completed inpatient programs and want follow-up treatment, or for people who feel their addiction is less extensive.

Inpatient clinics, on the other hand are instrumentally helpful in treating addicts who have a more long-term, serious sexual addiction. They differ from outpatients because patients live at the facility for the duration of their treatment. These centers offer the highest level of care, where trained specialists and professionals are available 24 hours a day for treatment. This is a good option for people who are not able to stop their sexually addictive behaviors without assistance, or those who have tried to recover on their own without success. One reason why inpatient sexual addiction clinics are so successful, is that they allow people to focus entirely on their recovery, without the distractions and challenges of everyday life. It also allows recovering addicts to interact and share with others who face their same challenges and struggles, letting them know they are not alone.

If you believe your sexual addiction is too serious for you to treat by yourself, or if you have tried one or multiple treatment options and failed, you may want to look into a sexual addiction rehabilitation clinic. These facilities exist across the nation, and have proven to be extremely effective in helping people beat sexual addiction. Research facilities in your area, and find one that is best suited for you! Always remember that there's hope for healing from sexual addiction!

References:



"Choosing the Best Inpatient Sex Addiction Rehab Center" http://www.rehabs.com/about/sex-addiction-rehabs/

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Sex Addiction is Different for Women

Hypersexuality is not a "one size fits all" disorder - men and women have different motivations, behavior, and consequences when it comes to sex and sex addiction. Some experts believe that the challenges faced by female sex addicts can even be greater than those faced by males. Sexual addiction in women is often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and ineffectively treated.

The goal for a lot of male sex addicts is often sexual stimulation, not a sexually stimulating relationship. Men also maintain distinct emotional boundaries with the object of their compulsive desires, and usually seek sex opportunities that come from anonymous, disconnected "hookups." Men often become disconnected and disinterested towards the person at the conclusion of their sexually compulsive acts.

On the other hand, women are oftentimes addicted to love and relationships, as well as the sex that comes with it. "Love addicts" are addicted to romance, intrigue, and/or fantasy that comes with relationships. This directly contradicts the male sex addict, as a female love addict will compulsively seek total immersion in a relationship, instead of remaining disconnected. The obsession with finding an exhilarating relationship can be more compelling than the desire for sex. They can seek multiple passionate, quick relationships that are often unstable. Their euphoria escalates throughout the course of the relationship, and stays until the relationship does not deliver the "fix" anymore.

In addition to this, women can also suffer greater consequences from sexual addiction. Women are more prone to health concerns such as unwanted pregnancies, or sexually transmitted diseases. They also face a higher probability of physical harm like rape or battery, because they are often smaller and physically weaker than men. Women also suffer unique emotional consequences when it comes to the shame, embarrassment, and social judgment that is associated with sexual addiction.

L.I.F.E. Recovery offers help and treatment options for both men and women. Regardless of your gender or type of sexual addiction, you deserve to live your life with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our website at  https://www.freedomeveryday.org for more information!

Reference:


"Female Sex Addiction: Understanding Gender Differences" by Ross Rosenberg http://www.yourtango.com/experts/ross-rosenberg/female-sex-addiction-understanding-gender-differences

Monday, February 22, 2016

Treatments for Sexual Addiction

Recovering from sexual addiction is hard - this is a fact that many of us must come to terms with during our journey to sexual freedom and integrity. Fortunately, there are a number of treatment options that exist in order to aid you on your journey.

An increasingly popular way to treat sexual addiction is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short. CBT aims at correcting an addict's irrational feelings, beliefs, and thoughts. This allows the addict to gain a healthier way of viewing the world around them, which in turn can stop their unhealthy sexual behavior. CBT can include role playing, writing in journals, and doing assignments in special workbooks.

Some sexual addicts choose to engage in individual therapy. This can help them address and resolve underlying issues that contribute to their addiction. Different forms of individual therapy include Freudian, humanistic, and object centered.

Another form of treatment is group therapy. This is a non-hostile environment where addicts come together to share their experiences, and support each other on their journey to recovery.

A more specific form of group therapy is family and couples counseling. This can help the addict rebuild trust and intimacy that they may have destroyed as a result of their addiction. This form of therapy is more intimate than group therapy, and offers a more personal approach.

The final form of treatment for sexual addicts is medication. Medication is often looked at as a last resort, but it can be effective. Some serotonin reuptake inhibitors have proven to be effective in reducing the frequency and intensity of sexually addictive urges. This allows the patient to focus on their therapies, instead of only focusing on stopping their urges.

The most important thing when deciding on a treatment option is choosing one that is right for you. Everyone is different and everyone responds to treatment differently. What works for one person may not work at all for another, and the best way to figure out what works best for you is to keep an open mind, and try everything at least once.

References:

"Different Treatment Options for Sexual Addiction" http://sexualaddiction.org/different-treatment-options-for-sexual-addiction/


Sunday, February 21, 2016

Famous TV and Movie Star Publicizes Past Pornography Addiction

If you watch the show "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," or are familiar with popular movies, you are probably familiar with the actor Terry Crews. Crews has recently opened up about his battle with pornography addiction, posting a Facebook video titled "Dirty Little Secret." In this video, he talks about his addiction, stating that it really messed up his life in a lot of ways. He says he didn’t tell anybody about it, and that allowed it to grow and "get bad." When Crews realized the seriousness of his addiction and saw the negative impact it had on his personal relationships and marriage, he sought treatment and enrolled in a rehab program.

Terry Crews is a very prominent and well respected public figure with a massive following on social media. He has over 6 million followers on Facebook alone. The fact that he is reaching out and educating so many people with his own personal story is incredible. He is showing that you do not have to be afraid to get help, and educating a lot of people on sexual and pornography addiction. His openness and vulnerability is commendable, and hopefully it will encourage people to seek help and treatment.

This addiction is beatable - many celebrities like Terry, and every day people are working to recover from this addiction. Everyone deserves to live their life with sexual freedom and integrity. Check out our resources page at L.I.F.E. Recovery International to see how you can begin your journey to recovery today!

Reference:


"'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' actor, former NFL player discusses past pornography addiction" by Lindsey Williams http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865647979/Brooklyn-Nine-Nine-actor-former-NFL-player-discusses-past-pornography-addiction.html?pg=all

Friday, February 19, 2016

A subject we have touched on in the past is the impact sexual addiction can have on the spouse of an addict. It can ruin relationships, block communication, and really take a toll on the spouse, as well as the addict. Here are some signs to look out for if you believe your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend etc., is struggling with sexual addiction.

Sign #1: They spend a lot of time sneaking around.

If you notice your partner has suddenly started staying late at work, talking on the phone to people they wont tell you about, or doing suspicious activities on the internet, they may be covering up some unhealthy sexual behaviors. They may flip to another page when you look at their computer, set up secret email accounts, or hide their cell phone in an attempt to keep their behavior a secret.

Sign #2: You notice a change in their demeanor.

If your partner is struggling with sexual addiction, they may act differently around you. They could become more secretive, private, unreliable, or irritable. They could also become more biter or angry, characteristics that are very common with sexual addicts.

Sign #3: You experience a lack of intimacy, and sexual interactions with your partner change.

You may feel that your partner is "tuned out" when they are around you. They could also seem less available, or like they're avoiding you. Another thing to look out for is if your sex life changes - if they avoid sex, want it more frequently, or if they do things that they have never done before during sex. This could include being uncharacteristically rough or demanding, requiring more stimulation, or developing a preference for masturbation.

Sign #4: Your partner is financially irresponsible.

Many sexual addicts will secretly use family finances on their personal sexual needs and activities. They could be spending money on porn, prostitutes, or other sexual activities, while hiding this spending from you. They could also engage in risky sexual behaviors that compromise their job.

These are only some of the many warning signs of sexual addiction. If your partner exhibits one or more of these characteristics, it may be a sign that they need help. Talk to your partner, and encourage open communication. Make sure they know you are concerned about their well-being, and encourage them to seek help. Let them know that you can beat this together!

References:


"12 Big Signs You're in Love with a Sex Addict" by Patsy Rae Dawson

Thursday, February 18, 2016

A New Approach to Sexual Addiction Recovery

It is common for animals such as dogs, cats and horses to aid those who suffer from a wide range of conditions. They're cute, cuddly, gentle, and caring for another living being can help people to learn how to care for themselves. In fact, Desert Solace, a sexual addiction treatment center is using horses in "equine assisted therapy," to help people recover from sexual addiction.

Working with horses has many benefits for sex addicts. It helps with connection and communication, builds healthy relationships, teaches strong work ethic, and gives addicts new responsibilities. The founder of this facility, Mark Jorgensen, believes that horses naturally provide for our emotional needs in a way that we don’t even recognize.

Horses are naturally large and powerful creatures, and can come off as a little intimidating to some people. This is actually a good thing, as it creates an opportunity for those people to develop confidence through overcoming fear. This in turn helps people gain the confidence to deal with other intimidating and challenging situations in their life and battle with addiction.

One important aspect of recovering sexual addiction is change - we must change ourselves and our sexual behaviors to live a more positive and healthy lifestyle. A horse will respond to the energy that it senses. If a person changes themselves, horses respond to them differently. When an addict learns to connect with and form a healthy relationship with a horse, they can learn to also form healthy relationships with the people around them. This can ultimately lead to them repairing relationships damaged by their addiction, and creating new, positive relationships.

Reference:


"Equine Assisted Therapy Contributes to Recovery from Sexual Addiction" by Jerri Jorgensen http://www.hometownstation.com/santa-clarita-latest-news/equine-assisted-therapy-contributes-to-recovery-from-sexual-addiction-166824

Friday, February 12, 2016

When should I seek help for sexual addiction


Do you love sex? Of course, everyone loves sex! Passion for sex and a healthy sexual appetite are natural. It is important, however, to be able to distinguish between a healthy sexual appetite and the beginnings of sexual addiction. In this article I will attempt to give some information to help you determine if you are participating in healthy sexual behaviors, or if could possibly be addicted to sex and should seek professional help.

One important indicator for sexual addiction is a "double life." This could involve having a sexual partner on the side that your significant other is not aware of, sexual behaviors that you hide from friends and family, and other secretive sexual behaviors. While it is possible to cheat without being a sexual addict, sex addiction could be the cause if you have a strong compulsive desire to cheat even though you know it is detrimental to your relationship.

Something else to look out for is if your personal relationships are being negatively affected by your sexual behavior. If sex is so important to you that you willingly allow it to compromise your personal relationships, you might actually be addicted to sex. 

Constantly seeking out new sexual behaviors could also be another warning sign to look out for. It is healthy and natural to want to switch up your sex life, but there is a fine line between wanting to explore your sexuality in a healthy way, and being reckless with your exploration. If you find that you need to seek out more and more sexual encounters in order to receive pleasure, you could be addicted.

Perhaps the strongest indicator for sex addiction is guilt and/or shame. It is problematic if you continuously engage in risky or unhealthy sexual behaviors and then feel guilty, shameful, or embarrassed about it after. These feelings are typically associated with sexual addiction, and could indicate that you need professional help.

If you identified with one or more of these indicators, it might be time to seek help. Recovery from sexual addiction is not easy, but the first and perhaps the hardest step is admitting to yourself and to others that you have a problem. After admittance, you can finally begin your journey to recovery.

Reference:

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Sexual Addiction May be one of the Hardest Addictions to Break

When the phrase "sexual addiction" is brought up in every day conversation, multiple thoughts might pop into your head. "How can sex be addictive?" "Sexual addiction isn't real," "Drug and alcohol addiction is way worse than sex addiction," and many more. Sexual addiction is not only a very real issue that touches the lives of millions of people across the world, some experts believe that sexual addiction is actually one of the hardest addictions to recover from.

Dr. Doug Weiss, the head of the American Association for Sex Addiction, believes that sex addiction can negatively affect its victims even more so than drugs or alcohol. He stated in a recent interview with CBN News that "drugs [and alcohol] aren't a part of who you are, [they're] something that you do. Sexuality is part of who you are." He also believes that the actual sexual chemical is stronger than any drug that you can take. This helps to shed some light on why people find it so hard to recover from sexual addiction. The act of sex is not inherently "bad," or "addictive," it is something that almost everyone participates in at least once in their life. For many, it is an important part of life that encourages intimacy and closeness. Sex only becomes a problem when sexual behaviors shift from healthy to unhealthy. Sexual addiction is so hard to recover from because it does not involve simply cutting sex out of your life forever. True recovery comes from the ability to recognize unhealthy sexual behaviors and motivations, and transform them into healthy, positive behaviors. This involves completely redefining sex and sexuality, and it takes constant effort and determination.

Fortunately, L.I.F.E Recovery International is ready to support you if you decide. The fact that sexual addiction is one of the hardest addictions to break can actually be a good thing, as the recovery process will make you that much stronger and more determined to transform your life and live with sexual freedom and integrity.

Reference:


"This is the Hardest Addiction to Break" by Paul Strand