Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sexual Addicts

Your partner is addicted to sex. You've talked to them, identified the problem, and they are now seeking help. What you may not know, is that you could need help two. Psychologists have identified six stages of recovery for the partners of sexual addicts.

The first stage takes place before the partner discovers the addict's behaviors. It is called the developing stage, or the pre-discovery stage. In this stage, the partner is completely unaware of their loved one's sexually destructive behaviors.

The second stage is called the crisis stage. This is when the partner discovers the addicts sexually addictive behavior. The partner can now begin to gather resources, or seek therapy.

The third stage is shock. This can be characterized by numbness, avoidance, and even conflict with the addict. You may feel anger, resentment, and hopelessness. These feelings are normal, but they can be very painful.

Grief is the fourth stage. During this stage, partners can find themselves looking more inward to grieve their losses, instead of focusing on the addict's behavior. This is why self-care usually increases in the grief stage.

The fifth stage is repair. This happens when the partner pulls themselves out of their grief, and focuses their attention into helping themselves. Because the grieving process is over, partners are more emotionally stable.

The last stage of recovery is growth. Feelings can be transformed from feeling victimized, into feeling resilient. You have been through something awful, but you got yourself through it. Partners come out on the other side and are fully committed to healing.

Healing and recovery are different for everyone. These stages can take months, or even years for people to go through. Remember that even though you are not the one who is addicted to sex, you still have to heal. Partners can really benefit from professional treatment. Seek the help of therapists who specialize in sexual addiction. There is always hope, and you and your partner can beat this together!

Reference:

"6 Stages of Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts" by Alexandra Katehakis http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/12/6-stages-of-recovery-for-partners-of-sex-addicts/