The Sin Cliff

by Bonnie

It is spring, although in Florida it feels like summer.  I sit in the kitchen and look out the window at the beautiful multicolored sky as the sun is setting for the evening.  It was a good day.  Not much out of the ordinary, just a good day.  I savor the good days more after having so many bad days clumped so close together.  Trials are never fun and consequences for our sin are horrible.  We jump so quickly off the side of the sin cliff.  The jumping part isn’t very painful most of the time.  It involves a sense of feel good…a high.  But that high doesn’t last.  The fall gets heavy.  Sometimes with conviction, shame, or regret.  Some of us fall for a long period of time.  Others not so long.  The amount of time isn’t the issue.  The issue is we jumped. 
 
Anyone could have warned me but I’m not sure I would have listened.  My decisions were selfish and now climbing out is excruciating.  Not only does my sin affect me, it affects someone I love and treasure.  He didn’t deserve my betrayal.  He didn’t deserve to feel un-chosen, rejected or abandoned, but he does.  This particular cliff jump was from years and years ago.  I am now free from the secret but three and a half months into the rebuilding of my marriage (again) some days are still tough.  The uphill climb is more difficult than the free fall but I’m thankful that I’m climbing and not still buried down there.  Thankful that God doesn’t see us as too far gone to reach.  Thankful for His forgiveness and tender mercies.  Thankful for a husband who didn’t run away.