Day 3 - To a Community of Faith

by Bonnie (Where Can Broken Hearts Go?)

On Christmas Day, just five days after finding out about my husband’s affair, someone gave me a guide. It was a spouse’s guide for a support group and suggested I come to one of the meetings at a church in Orlando. This group was for women who had been betrayed by their husbands through sexual sin and additions.

Reluctant to go, my counselor gave me the name and number of one of the ladies. She was previously a pastor’s wife and had gone through the same situation a year or so before. I made the decision to call her and see what she had to say. While sharing my pain, she said something to me that struck me that night and has stayed with me ever since. Her statement was, “I would do it all over again, the pain, all of it, for what I have today.” She was talking about her marriage and most of all her intimate relationship with the Lord! I remember saying to her, “WHAT! Are you kidding me?” I thought “How….how could that be possible!!! I feel like my guts are about to spill on the floor every second of the day. How in the world could she say she would do it ALL over again?”

I agreed to go to the support group. I was furious that I would need support, much less drive an hour, but I was willing to try anything to ease the pain and hurry my healing. I attended the first meeting in desperation! I was a MESS! My emotions were like a roller coaster. For the new people attending, we were called the “grievers” and we were split into a smaller group for people just starting the grieving process.

Well, It didn’t take long to recognize that there was a room full of women that knew what pain was, and I needed to be part of that group for healing. I can’t imagine how the journey would have gone without those ladies!

Psalm 27:4-5 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. NIV

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 31:24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

You can’t do it alone. You will need to look for support. God uses people to bring comfort and hope. Don’t look to people for the answer, but lean on them for support. They can be a wonderful comfort. People who are facing the same pain or have been through the pain of a broken heart are sometimes people God places in our path. They hold our hand and let us express the emotions that come with pain. Be very careful to find safe groups with safe people. They will keep you accountable to take care of yourself. This is probably in my top three most important things you can do when you are hurting.

Reflection: This is a tough place, to branch out and look for a safe person or group. Safe people aren’t people that tell you what they think you should do or give you demands for getting through the pain. As you learn to be more authentic with safe people you will also learn how to be more authentic with God. Don’t suffer alone. You will need a hand to hold yours. Often times, family members are not safe to walk this journey of pain with you. This might not make sense but it is because they love you so much. When you hurt, they hurt…it is hard for them to stay objective and give you wise counsel.

Prayer: Father, sometimes I find it so difficult to open up and share my pain with anyone other than you. Lord, help me to realize there are safe people. I pray you will lead me to a support group or a group at church. Show me if there is someone currently in my life I can trust. Help me to open myself up and not be scared to experience what you have made me for…. relationships. Fill my life with people to whom I can trust and be myself with. Thank you for what you are going to do through my friendships. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.