Day 4 - To Grieving

by Bonnie (Where Can Broken Hearts Go?)

This was the first stage of my recovery from a broken heart. I spent seven weeks specifically dealing with grieving. I wish that was all the time it took to grieve, but it was much longer for me. Everyone grieves differently and for different durations. I believe it is necessary for healing.

During this time, God showed me a lot of things in my life that I needed to change. One of the biggest battles and weaknesses I dealt with was living in overblown emotions…looking at life through a negative lens and having a critical and impatient spirit. I had other weakness and coping issues that were not pretty. Grieving was hard work and I wish I could tell you I always grieved properly, but I didn’t. Anger was huge for me. When I was angry I felt I was in control, but it didn’t take long for that anger to turn to sadness. I would be sad that I was mad and mad that I was sad.

Through grieving, I’ve learned to own my weaknesses and I’ve learned how to live with my feelings. I’m learning that feelings are OK. God made us this way, but it is our choice what we do with those feelings. I’m learning to take care of myself and to be gentle with myself when I’m grieving or have feelings that I just don‘t like. I’ve learned we can’t control anyone or anything. Triggers are real and we are powerless over them, but with God‘s help, we will make it through them. I’m learning what it means to be loved by God, how to forgive and accept healing.

Psalm 30:5 Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30: 11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.

Reflection: Grieving is hard work. Journaling all of the losses helps relieve them from your mind as you write them on paper. It takes a brave heart to put it all out there and begin to ask God to show you any loss you will need to grieve. Pray over your list. Crying is part of grieving. Be very gentle with yourself during this process. God will meet you there if you open yourself up to his tender mercies. Allow the feelings of grief to come. Sit in them for a period of time. Anger was probably the hardest for me to understand. It is OK to be angry. Cry, scream or hit a pillow if you need to. God already understands your emotions. He made you with all the emotions you feel. Be honest with him over your grief. Believe and determine in your heart the hurt you feel right now will get better.

Prayer: Dear Jesus, please help me grieve properly. Help me to understand that the emotions I’m feeling, you understand and you love me anyway. If I am stowing away emotions that are causing me physical issues, help me identify them. I want to grieve the best way for me to receive healing. I open up all of my pain and hurt to you. You are my healer and I praise you, even in this pain. Thank you for helping me grieve and be honest with you. I submit to you. Help me to see something good in all of this. In Jesus’ Name, Amen